Happy New Year

Ooops... I missed yesterday. But in my defense, last night (at the time I normally would sit down to blog) my stomach decided to projectile vomit every single thing I ate yesterday across the bathroom. Most of it landed in the toilet, however, some did hit the floor. EWWWWW!!!!! Luckily for me, my hubster cleaned it up before I got back downstairs after cleaning myself up. So yesterday was nice, except for the vomiting part, and we had a good day. We had a couple teens from youth over and Brian and I went to Subway to have dinner with Rachel (before my stomach episode). Today... was cleaning day. Not fun but we got a lot accomplished. Then, we went to the mother-in-law's for dinner and now we are home. We have a couple of youth kids coming over to watch the ball drop with Brianna and us, left Ciara at grandma's house, and then I'm taking my sorry butt to bed. Getting old really stinks sometimes... lol Thanks Jenn for reminding me to post today! lol I'll try not to miss any more days. Happy New Year everyone!! ;D God Bless

Paranormal Activity...

Well, today has been a fairly quiet day for the hubster and I. Our two daughters stayed all night with friends last night and then brought baby Caleb home with them this morning. They then went sledding with some other friends and hung out at their house afterwards. Here in a bit, they will be coming home with several friends in tow for dinner and then Paranormal Activity. I will not be watching this movie, but the hubster and about 15 teenagers will be all tensed up and scared. Maybe I make some scary noises or something... that would be funny!!! lol Anyway, just wanted to get a post in for today before the hubster and finish packing away the Christmas decorations and put the couch back together. God bless!!

Oops!!

So, I haven't kept up this blog very well. Actually forgot I had it. Starting today, I'm going to try to post every day from here on out. Even if I have nothing witty to say. I have a lot going on in my life and the best way to deal with it all is to write it down and put all the thoughts in order so that I can listen and follow what God is telling me to do. First order of business: FINISH MY BOOK!!! My friend Jen sent me a link to another blog that sparked my interest in actually getting this book completed. That, combined with a message preached my way at church, have actually lit me up to get going on this project. Hopefully, by the end of January, I will get this book finished and submitted for publication. Second: completely declutter my home. I long for the day that there is zero clutter in my house. That's my goal for this year. I'm getting rid of all the excess and emptying out boxes and bags and baskets. Everything will have a place and everything will be in its place before bedtime each night. This is a huge and daunting task, but it's my goal. Third: Devotions with my Hubster. We bought the Daily Devotional for Married Couples last week and starting January 1, 2010, we will be reading, discerning and praying together daily. I believe this is part of what's been missing from our restored marriage and will only make it better and us stronger. We got re-baptized on December 27th, all 4 of us, and that helped move us a little more forward in our plans. Please pray with us that 2010 is a better year for our family. Spiritually, Financially and Physically. God Bless

Letting a child go... and praying she comes back.

I am at a complete crossroads in my life. My daughter is about to move away to another state with a boy she barely knows in person and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I thought that by being candid about my own past experiences that she would have seen the lessons that I learned the hard way and avoided making my same mistakes. I thought that by showing her the biblical truths that we should all be living that she would follow God and stay on the straight and narrow path. I thought that if I just loved her enough that she wouldn't go. I thought wrong. God has brought me to a very hard place and I feel completely overwhelmed. I am struggling to see His purpose through my tears of fear and frustration. My child... my first baby... is leaving on a journey that she has not invited Him to share or to guide her on. I look at her now and all I can see is the walls she has built, the doors she has closed and the people she has thrown away in order to maintain her goal of getting out of here. I don't understand... I tried so hard to make her childhood different than mine was. I made sure she KNEW without a doubt that I loved her and would continue to do so even if she wasn't perfect. I made sure she KNEW she was safe with me and her dad even when our marriage struggled. I feel as if I've failed her somehow and I can't figure it out. My heart is breaking and my eyes burn from all the tears. GOD HELP ME!!! What will she do for insurance? How will she get her epilepsy medication and her birthcontrol shots? What if she has a car accident or he turns out to be an abuser? She's going to a place where God is not the center of the household; where God is not welcome in their lives on a daily basis. If something happens to her there, I can't be "right there" to pick up the pieces. It will take me several hours to get to her - praying the entire way that I'm not too late. I have to trust in the Lord to see me through this. To bring my prodigal child back to me. She knows I love her and she also knows how very disappointed I am by her choices - not her, just her choices and attitudes. She's a beautiful girl and she's very smart. She used to be a ray of sunshine but now she brings storm clouds with her wherever she goes. "but if there's no other way; I'm done asking why, cause I'm on my knees begging You to turn to me... I'm on my knees, Father will You run to me..."